“Why would you be surprised angel,” he asked.
“Well, I know the other you have come to and to tell you honestly I never thought I would meet you. I guess it is because I feel like such a novice sometimes, “ I whispered softly.
“You each rise in your learning or rather, returning to your memories, at your own pace and at your own time. You have worked no less tenaciously at remembering who you are than the others. You started later than they did but your work is no less deserving of guidance,” he said smiling.
I was temporarily mesmerized by the colors changing in his eyes and he returned my gaze so intently I could feel the energy rise from the center of my soul. “What is it that is happening just now,” I asked.
“You are remembering more even as we speak. Would you care to share what you are seeing angel,” he asked.
“Well, it was a few years ago. I had my house to myself and decided to take a few moments to meditate in the peace and quiet of morning. I was in a Japanese garden and I could see cherry blossoms everywhere. They were on the trees and the petals fell to the ground like snow. Near a gentle stream that sounded like music, I saw a beautiful young Japanese woman. She told me it was time to awaken from the dream and she embraced me calling me sister. The air was cool but when she put her arms around me the warmth rising within me was nearly overpowering. She whispered something I did not understand. I thought it was a name and I learned just today that it was no name but a command of sorts and that is where it all began. In morning sunlight, with cherry blossom petals raining down upon us she looked at me and said “Kioku,” I explained. “Kioku means memory,” I said.
“That was quite some time ago and memories did follow and you did not have context so did not know what they meant,” the child stated with an air of wisdom that betrayed his young seeming appearance.
“How would you know that,” I asked him.
He just smiled and said, “You’d be surprised at the things I know but you would be even more surprised by the things that you know.”
Chills ran up and down my spine and across every inch of my skin and I could feel my light growing brighter. When you first appeared to me, you asked me to convey a message to someone I cared for and I did and yet you lingered. I asked you why and you said you had come regarding a dream of mine. I don’t understand. Can you elaborate,” I asked.
“Dear, you do understand and completely at that. You asked for a sign and you have been given so many. Why is it that you hold a shred of doubt,” he asked.
“Call it amnesia, I guess. I feel it too and I know what it means. I guess that is why I want to be so very certain. It means so much more to me than I am able to articulate in this moment, “ I said.
“There lives within you a part of you that remains afraid to receive…a place where traces of unworthiness lives. You know the origins of this feeling and you have seen how it does not play in your current incarnation any more. You are free of it and yet you doubt. Why do you doubt yourself and your ability to complete what you set out to do,” he asked.
“For many reasons, I suppose. Again, this feels like familiar and unfamiliar terrain to me. My “senses” and “feelings” remember and occasionally with “sight” I can see but I guess I question whether I’m ready for what follows,” I said.
“Hesitation for future moments does nothing but rob you of the present. Even the initiates are aware of this fact so why would you indulge this knowing what you now know angel,” he asked.
“I can’t answer that and I guess my hope is that my quickly returning memories will reveal more of that. It feels like I need more to go on than some ethereal feeling even if it comes from my own core. I used to say that “time will reveal” but that is no longer a tool for me since this is outside of the framework of time," I said watching a gull fly toward the ocean.
“Go back to Sophia's heart and feel your way through. There is something for you that resides within her. You’ll know it instantly when you face her. The resonance will be your guide. Return here to this spot when you have attained that which you seek. One more missing piece to attain even if seemingly, but you know it’s not missing it all. I can tell you that you have already everything you need but I know you won’t take that and so must find it on your own,” he said with a wry smile.
I could feel this one knew me through and through. I could not hide, I could not evade and that look in his eyes while gentle was infinite...the energy and the energy pushing me was surprising to me. After a few moments, I could finally collect enough words to ask a question: “Where would I find Sophia?”
“Take a walk to the stream and peer over the edge Dear One, and you will see her,” he said smiling.
I did my best not to show a trace of disappointment knowing that any front was absolutely useless in this discussion. I sat quietly for a moment and I could see her in another time and place. I came back to my present time out of time and thanked this benevolent child of infinite light for both appearing when he did and for taking the time to discuss this concern with me. I still don’t understand what this means but I spoke then, “Thank you for your presence, for your guidance and assurance Wise One. The depths of my gratitude is beyond words. I shall search as you suggest and return when I have attained that which I seek," I said feeling my resolve to succeed strengthen the energy in my core.
He smiled at me with this all knowing look that pierced even the darkest places of doubt in my core. He knew I would not fail so why did I doubt me? I’ll give this one time and effort but from a place I am not accustomed to working. It will take great effort, this I feel. But with His appearance, I knew I must be resolved to this part of the lesson quickly. So, I go.
photo: Unknown
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